Pondering....

Ah, it's been a while *dusts off webs*. I'm blogging in the dark with my ear phones listening to some old school music. Feeling pretty melodramatic now. Anyhus, I'm really confused. People have been telling me "do what you love or have interest in", "do what pays alot" or even "do what is paying you good money now". And you know what? Whenever people tell me to do what pays alot, I answer them "Money is not the point. If I don't like what I'm doing, it will ruin or affect my outcome". Sure, you need money to survive but I'd rather keep my sanity, thank you very much.

I've reached my limit. I will not let those people influence my decision. I do what I like, and if I regret, I will regret because of MY decision. I have been doing what you people have been telling me to; influencing my decisions. No, not anymore. I'm the type of person that doesn't work well when asked to do something that I'm not passionate about. It will affect the outcome. Really. For the past 3 years, I have been so effin' depressed that my body just decided to mess up and organs are starting to shrink. Literally. I decided to confront my parents because I couldn't take it anymore. They finally realized and stopped pushing me. But once the others knew about it, I felt abandoned. Rumors started spreading. From then on, I could see their true colors and it all made sense. I was in a very hypocritical circle of fake friends. Sigh, why are we living in such a materialistic and hypocritical and egotistical world.

I'd rather starve and suffer doing something I enjoy or love, than doing something that just makes me sick. You're better off doing what you love. When you are in a happier, you're more likely to suceed. Going to a job that makes money, but is doing something that you rather not do, isn't gonna help you. You want a job that makes you want to leave the house and start your day off with working. Not a job that will make you wanna stay in bed because you hate your job and the people there.

The expression is actually true. You do what you love, you will start to succeed. When you start to succeed, you start to climb the corporate ladder. Once you start climbing that ladder, the money will start rolling. If you start off with some horrible job, your gonna tell yourself "whats the point" and slack off.

If what you love to do isn't very profitable, then the best thing to do is to have a job that provides you with enough income to do what you love on your off time. That way you're working for your leisure time. In the end, you have to listen to your heart and make your own decisions. Fulfill life's purpose.

**Joanna**

Photoshoot!

Yay~ I went to All About Love today to try on some gowns for the photoshoot. Ong, one of my bridesmaid was there too because her friend had an interview there. Anyway, I get to choose 4 gowns for the photoshoot. Gonna go for my trial make up and hair on 5th May and the photoshoot will be on 10th May. Excited :D and also nervous at the same time :O. Wow, May 10th photoshoot. After that, May 18th-21st another photoshoot at Taiwan. @@;; Money money money money! **Joanna**

My road trip to Sandakan

Lol, it's actually my second road trip. My first was when I was around 3? Heck, how would I remember how it went. So, this is my official 1st time road trip to Sandakan. Hahaha. Anyway, the purpose of the trip was to visit Jack's gramma. Only Jack and myself went to Sandakan by car. He drove the Hilux. From KK to Sandakan, the trip took about 6 and a half hours. It was bumpy as hell. I could literally feel my brain hitting against the wall of my skull. I wouldn't say it wasn't a fun trip. It was actually not that bad, aside the bumpy road and my bladder almost bursting into pieces. After passing Ranau, we missed a junction and went the wrong way! Hahaha~ After making calls, we were back on track. I was so bored in the car, I stared at all the trees surrounding the area and look at possible forms/shapes they look like. Lawl~ Upon arriving Sandakan, we had another problem - the location of the hotel! We booked a room at Tyng Garden. Took us around 45 minutes to find that place. Jack's mum gave a different direction, and my mum gave a different direction. After circling the area for too many times, Jack decided to call his aunt in Sandakan. She led us to the hotel. Thank God she lived nearby. After checking in and got all cleaned up, Jack's cousin called and asked us out for a drink. Meh, we were too tired to go out so we rejected. We visited his gramma the next day. I feel a whole lot of emotions when I saw her. Sigh~ Reminds me of my great-gramma. After visiting his gramma, we head out hunting for brekkie and also this shop called '7 Heaven'. It's an ice-cream parlor in Sandakan. We had no friggin' idea where that place is, so we used google map to lead us there. Hahaha~~ If you're an ice-cream lover, then you'll love this place. The price is reasonable and they also have other sweets like frozen yogurt and cakes. They also serve lunch and dinner. Operating hours are from 12pm-6pm and 6pm-12am. After nomming down our ice-cream, we started our ride back to KK. Started at 1.30pm and reached home at 8pm... Here are some pictures.

The thick fog.

Could hardly see a thing.

The crocodile that greeted us. I get the giggles everytime Jack passed by this statue.

Having my dinner while going online.

7 heaven.

The interior.

Green tea+Double Chocolate Rm6

Me with my frozen yogurt.

**Joanna**

The importance of details when it comes to decoration

A lot of people say that marriage marks the beginning of an entirely new life for a man and a woman. It is a bond entered by two accepting parties to honor and love each other until death, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. Therefore, couples who plan of getting married pay extra attention on planning details and spend a considerable sum of money to have a memorable wedding. Some would like a solemn wedding, spending it only with few selected family members and friends while others would like to share their happiness with as many people in their lives as possible. There are also some weddings that would take about six months in preparation while others about a week. No matter how long the preparation is, what truly matters is the intensity of the commitment to honor the vows. How do you go through the details of wedding preparation? For my wedding, when it comes to decoration, I don't mind going through the tiny little details. From the wordings of the wedding favors to the church decoration. Sure, there's alot of things to do when you really look into the presentation of the decoration or the arrangement of the bouquets but it's a one in a lifetime thing, and everything needs to be distinct. Even the tiniest baby's breath in a whole bouquet of roses count. Creativity is what we aim for. We want to be different. I'm sure every couple has the same idea. As for the budget, I'm sure there's alot of substitute for the expensive things. I'm gonna D.I.Y all the way. Haha. With the help of friends and family of course. It's cheaper than going out asking for professional help(Which might turn out fugly and costs a foot and leg). I need to start with the wedding favors, bridesmaid outfits, decorations, flowers etc etc etc already. Once my sister is back from K.L, I'll slap her with my report and we'll start the designing, along with my bridesmaids of course. Hahaha~(If you are reading this, be prepared! :P:P:P) So, ya. I'm gonna go continue my research now. Tee hee. Ching chong ling long ting tong. **Joanna**

PANIC ATTACK

1. Damn flu


2. Can't stop sneezing, nose gonna fall off


3. Hung out with my besties


4. The Kenari is back


5. Jack said he wanted to fetch me, so I did not drive


6. Ong send me back home


7. Need to use the back door


8. Oh shit, no key. Oh wait, where is my phone? OH FUCK! In Ong's car!


9. Panic, ran round. Knocked on gramma's window


10. Gramma opened the door


11. Grabbed the house phone, quickly called Ong


12. She reached Lintas by the time I called her.


13. She send my HP back to me


14. Felt so bad :(


15. Gonna belanja her makan


16. Still feeling panicky now.............

I think he is gay......

As you know, my house is under renovation right now. Stuff are bound to be missing if left unattended; like jewellery, handphone, lappy. But, thank God those were not missing because we keep it locked in our room. However, one of the worker felt the need to steal something. Ah, yes. The toilet. Who locks the toilet when it's not in use, right? One of the worker, went into the toilet without our permission, and stole my brother's hair conditioner(I'm not sure if it's his or his girlfriends' conditioner). They are not suppose to use it because the way they use the toilet is MUY disgusting. Upon returning from work, my brother realized that the conditioner was missing. The same day that the worker went it. My brother got pissed and installed a lock that you can lock from the outside. LOL. Since that door will be coming down soon, why not. Hahaha. Then our maid told us this,:

"Saya rasa itu boy ambil oh. Saya nampak dia masuk tandas pakai itu gincu. Mungkin dia ambil, lepas itu simpan dalam beg dia sebab beg dia di atas sama dia. Lepas kerja kan, sebelum dia balik, dia kasih bersih tangan dia, letak losyen, bedak dan itu lipbalm. Macam pondan oh"

Hahaha! Who knew. That boy has a frizzy, explosive afro hair and I seriously couldn't imagine him to be a queer. His dad is also one of the workers here. Maybe he doesn't want his papi to find out, that's why he's doing hard labor. Lol.

**Joanna**

Hunger~

The other night (I think it was Tuesday night? Or was it Monday, I don't remember), I woke up at 12.45am and had the urge to eat. I was soooo hungry! I thought to myself, "Meh, I'll eat in the morning". BUT, my stomach could not wait till morning. I was seriously starving until the point of insomnia. So I went downstairs to the kitchen, made myself Milo and grabbed a slice of bread and nom, nom, nom my way up to my room. After gobbling down that 1 slice of plain bread and my Milo, I waited for 15-20 minutes, then went back to bed. Slept soundly will morning. Great.

Oh, and I hung out with my besties, Valerie and Ong. It's been a while since we hung out with Val. We should go out more often D:

I'm using Jack's broadband to go online now. My friggin' streamyx is being an ass. I haven't called up TMnet yet. I'll call them up tomorrow and complain their assess. I couldn't access my streamyx since MONDAY!! Ugh.

My back is cramping. I want ice cream. >:D

**Joanna**