Black Swan: A dancing, psychological thriller

Black Swan is an intense, and sort of scary psychological thriller. Natalie Portman, who did her own dancing, does a fine job portraying the obsessive compulsive ballerina. But it is the artistry of Darren Aronofsky that really enables the viewer to see the flow of events through Nina's eyes. The visuals are frightening and effective, and there is no predicting when you're going to see something really scary.

Mila Kunis, known for her role as the voice of Meg in Family Guy, turns out a strong performance as Lily. Up until now she was most recognised as the voice of Meg Griffith from Family Guy and lovable brat Jackie from hit TV show That 70s Show. Not after this she won’t be.

Anyway, back to the film. It’s not for the faint hearted, not that it’s contains particularly graphic violence (well, there is a bit), but its just quite a heavy subject matter. Ballet combined with mental disorders, infused with fierce competition and some hefty sexual content makes for a great movie.

Portman plays a ballet dancer, Nina, who wins the much coveted lead in ‘Swan Lake’. While she appears to be perfect for the role of the pure and innocent White Swan, she begins to lose her mind and becomes more like the evil sister of the White Swan, the Black Swan.

Mila Kunis comes in through Lily, who’s carefree attitude bothers Nina to such an extent that she becomes paranoid that Lily has befriended her in order to steal the lead role. It becomes obvious that Nina suffers from extreme visual hallucinations and delusions drizzled with a bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Nina and her extreme love for ballet added to her natural shyness can come across as cold, and as her obsession with mastering her dancing role grows, she becomes even more strange and creepy.

It must be said, Black Swan is Portman’s show the whole way. Her mastery of ballet is unbelievable, her dance as the transformed black swan is truly delectable and her portrayal of deterioration is simply magnificent.

Furthermore, she has a terrifying scene that damn near scared the crap out of me. The director manages to make this feel original, and it's amazing how he can take the subject of classical ballet and make it really scary.

**Joanna**

Decorations? Themes? Renovation madness?

My house is so dusty and messy right now. You can literally see dust floating around my breathing space. Everything is so cluttered up. Sigh. It would have been done if it wasn't for that stupid 'pokai' contractor! It's so hectic. We have to go here and there to buy the materials. "Boss, simen tidak cukup. Mau 50 bungkus lagi", "Boss, itu tiles tidak cukup. Mau 15 kotak lagi". Lol. And we have to keep the gates lock at all times. We don't want that 'pokai' contractor's worker to come and steal out stuff. They have been coming over and peeping from outside to see what they can take. It's actually that contractor's stuff but if you want it, come and ask from us. Don't come around peeping like cat burglars! We don't want your stuff anyway.

I'm cracking my head on the wedding decoration themes and entertainment. We don't want to spend a whole lot of money to hire a professional. We'd like to keep a budget, ya know. Creative and innovative ideas. Hahaha~ There are three colors that I'd like to incorporate into the decorations for my house; Pink/White/Red. Not the bright gay pink, i'm talking about the light, soft pink.

I need to contact some friends and tell them the date to make sure they are around. If they're not, I don't need to waste the wedding card invitation.

Lately I've been having weird dreams. Just last night, I dreamt I wore a black wedding dress, my make-up artist was crap, one of my bestie didn't show up and the groom was sleeping. My God! It was crazy. I hope that crap won't happen! Hahahaha~ Shit.

**Joanna**

Renovation madness

Ugh. Stupid contractor. My dad fired him. He's the type of contractor that we'd like to call "Pokai contractor". The money we paid him, we don't know where he invested to. He did not pay the workers their wages, he's always not around to supervise and he's always asking for money. Thank God my dad didn't pay him more. Or else he would had run away with the money.

So, now we have to find new workers ourselves. Ugh. I don't even know whether it can be done before my wedding :( The kitchen needs 3 months; custom made dry kitchen. Sigh~ Am praying hard that it will be done by then.

**Joanna**

Contentment: Live a happy life

Contentment is something we should all be striving for. To be content, as far as I’m concerned, is to be able to be happy in the life you’re living; to have the ability to be grateful for what you have and enjoy life. I learned to stop focusing on what I didn’t have and to appreciate everything I did have (family, friends, a loving fiance and a relationship with God). I accepted what I couldn’t change and focused on the things that I could. I found contentment, even when all of my friends were out living their lives, going to school, getting jobs and having fun.

People often try to buy their happiness. They think that money will give them a life of leisure, status, security, or power. The question is, can money really buy your happiness? My response is yes; and no. Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

When is enough enough? Is the pursuit of wealth a bad thing? Not necessarily. Material things can bring us much pleasure and give us the opportunity to enjoy ourselves, but we fool ourselves if we make those "things" the centre of our life. If we do, we will never have enough or be enough.

Many people feel a need to keep up with the others, so they overspend. The question is, does it really matter if you have all the things they have? Are you going to be any happier? When is enough enough? If you measure happiness by possessions, you will never be authentically happy.

Instead of wishing for a little bit more money to carry you over the hump, start by learning to live on what you have, and being happy with what you have, now. Distinguish between wants and needs. Money itself is not the problem, it's how you use it. It is not evil, but it's often used for evil things.

This insatiable nature is not a bad thing if we use it to our advantage. It can lead to wonderful advancement in our society, or lead to mindless materialism. When it comes to our possessions, we need to use discipline and sometimes make the decision that we can be happy with less than we have. Simplification. We need to say enough is enough, whatever that may mean to the individual. Enjoy what we have while being open to the possibilities of what we would like.

Some people have to have more and more gadgets or the latest and greatest of toys. They have bought into the lie that they have to have these things in order to be happy only to find that after they bought them, they are not only less happy, but also a lot poorer. Some feel they need these things because they fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others. By having many possessions, they are trying to position themselves above the rest of the world by looking successful. This gives them a false sense of validation and worthiness.

People often confuse need with want. They fill their lives with things because they think they need them and the things will make them happy and a somebody. Make sure you don't disguise a want as a need. That doesn't mean you can't have any of your wants fulfilled, but don't do it at the expense of your happiness by being burdened with debt and worry.

You need to really examine the reasons for your purchase, and consider if it's going to really be something that will truly enrich your life or simply be a burden. Can you really afford it, or are you just allowing yourself to be talked into it because you think you want it? If you believe it will be worthwhile and you can do it within your means, then go for it. Chances are, if it's something that will really be worthwhile to you, it can wait awhile until you have the cash.

Only you can decide when enough is enough and when it's a worthwhile risk. When you are doing this, make sure to distinguish between wants and needs. You don't need to ignore your wants, just exercise wisdom and common sense.

It's a hard thing to not have enough, and to struggle for food and shelter. These are clearly needs that have to be met in order to live. True poverty is something that we should do whatever we can to eliminate, and it's worthwhile to help those in need. There is more to poverty than lack of money. It can also be lack of purpose, joy and meaning. Some people with great riches are some of the poorest people in the world.

Contrary to what some might say, there is nothing wrong with the desire to have more than just the basics. In fact, we are all driven by a desire to have a better life, better things, and a better job. There is nothing wrong with being rich. Everyone has the ability and opportunity to acquire abundance and wealth in their lives. The question is, what do you do with your wealth? Is the pursuit of riches your goal, or is it what you can do with the riches to help yourself and those around you?

I have been asking the question of when is enough enough. The answer is totally up to you. You may be satisfied with just getting by. You may want to go further and acquire abundant wealth so that you can experience all that the world has to offer and share it with others. There is nothing wrong with either view. The point is to be sure that you are pursuing that which will make you the best you can be.

Wealth can free you of the burden of having to make a living; you are free to do what you want, when you want. However, if you use your wealth to acquire possessions just for the sake of proving to the world you are somebody or just to look good, you are only setting yourself up for a fall. Wealth, in and of itself, does not make you happy. It's what you do with your wealth that makes the difference.

The key is to learn to live below your means, get out of debt and stay out, and position yourself to be able to do what you want.

**Joanna**