Pondering....

Ah, it's been a while *dusts off webs*. I'm blogging in the dark with my ear phones listening to some old school music. Feeling pretty melodramatic now. Anyhus, I'm really confused. People have been telling me "do what you love or have interest in", "do what pays alot" or even "do what is paying you good money now". And you know what? Whenever people tell me to do what pays alot, I answer them "Money is not the point. If I don't like what I'm doing, it will ruin or affect my outcome". Sure, you need money to survive but I'd rather keep my sanity, thank you very much.

I've reached my limit. I will not let those people influence my decision. I do what I like, and if I regret, I will regret because of MY decision. I have been doing what you people have been telling me to; influencing my decisions. No, not anymore. I'm the type of person that doesn't work well when asked to do something that I'm not passionate about. It will affect the outcome. Really. For the past 3 years, I have been so effin' depressed that my body just decided to mess up and organs are starting to shrink. Literally. I decided to confront my parents because I couldn't take it anymore. They finally realized and stopped pushing me. But once the others knew about it, I felt abandoned. Rumors started spreading. From then on, I could see their true colors and it all made sense. I was in a very hypocritical circle of fake friends. Sigh, why are we living in such a materialistic and hypocritical and egotistical world.

I'd rather starve and suffer doing something I enjoy or love, than doing something that just makes me sick. You're better off doing what you love. When you are in a happier, you're more likely to suceed. Going to a job that makes money, but is doing something that you rather not do, isn't gonna help you. You want a job that makes you want to leave the house and start your day off with working. Not a job that will make you wanna stay in bed because you hate your job and the people there.

The expression is actually true. You do what you love, you will start to succeed. When you start to succeed, you start to climb the corporate ladder. Once you start climbing that ladder, the money will start rolling. If you start off with some horrible job, your gonna tell yourself "whats the point" and slack off.

If what you love to do isn't very profitable, then the best thing to do is to have a job that provides you with enough income to do what you love on your off time. That way you're working for your leisure time. In the end, you have to listen to your heart and make your own decisions. Fulfill life's purpose.

**Joanna**