Perfection and Pressure: Psych yourself

I don’t have to be perfect. I’m not going to force myself to be perfect just to make other people happy and accept me.

Nobody can be perfect, and besides, there is no "perfect" way of doing anything. I just do things and no longer try to do them perfectly.

If I’m not doing something as good as I’d like, or I’m having problems because of anxiety, I will calmly accept it (or at least try to). By trying harder and pressuring myself more to do things in an accurate and perfect way, I only make myself depressed, and I will actually hurt my well-being. I just do what I need to do, make my own decisions and realize there is no perfect way to do them, or no perfect way to feel.

There is only pressure if I put it on myself. Nothing is that important. It’s all small stuff (I think). If others object to it, who cares? There is no pressure because there is no exact right way to do things.

I can do whatever I want. I can always do whatever I want. Whatever the consequences, they won’t be that bad (how bad can it be?). There is no pressure because I can accept it if someone judges me to be nervous. There is no precise way to do things.

However, whenever I do something or however I act is OKAY. If I don’t do something a certain way, the consequences will always be something that I have to deal it. There is no pressure because I can do whatever I want. There is nothing I have to do. There is no exact right thing to do.

There is no pressure because other people’s opinions do not determine how I feel about myself or whether I am a worthy human being. If I want, I can just accept things and stare blankly into space and say nothing.

I am putting a great deal of pressure on myself by analyzing every situation for the perfect way to do it. When I feel pressured, It’s OKAY. I don’t have to be perfect. I am satisfied with my efforts.

My self esteem is not determined by how I perform at a certain task or whether others judge me as being intelligent, competent, fun to be around, or good-looking. There is no pressure because I can accept it if someone judges me. If someone judges me as a failure in a certain regard, I will be able to accept it, because I don’t need their approval to sustain my self esteem. My opinion of whether or not my work is good is more important than theirs. My opinion about whether my attitude is good is more important than anyone else’s. My comfort with how I carry myself and what I do is more important than anyone else’s. And there is no pressure because as a human being I have the right not to have to justify what I do.

I can accept the fact that sometimes I am nervous and anxious. Just because I don’t feel perfect, and sometimes experience more anxiety feelings than other people, doesn’t mean that I am less valuable as a person or that I should feel ashamed. I have some tough feelings to deal with but I will do things for my own enjoyment and growth and not for other people.

**Joanna**